My husband is active duty Army. He’s a SGT. Currently, he’s deployed to Iraq. We’ve only been married about a year and a half. No children (thank God). My husband came back on R&R and slept with his ex wife (Caught him red handed). He refused to divorce me saying that he wanted to work things out. I told him that it was hard for me to forgive him or trust him over an e-mail since he lies to me every chance he gets anyways. On a tip, I searched myspace and found a profile online for him. It said he was married, but (Suprise, Suprise) it did NOT say that he was married to me. He claims to be married to another woman in a different state. They talk back and forth, openly, about their sex life, and they’re planning their wedding ceremony. I told him I knew about the page, and he still refuses to divorce me, and has now gone as far as cutting me off. He will not give me money to pay my rent. He’s making an extra 3,000 a month there in Iraq – not to mention just the BAH that’s MEANT to pay for rent, but he refuses to pay the rent for his HOME? I’ve been told that as long as he’s overseas I can not file for divorce if he refuses to give me one. Is that true? I live more than two hours away from the nearest military base, so traveling there is hard to do. Also, I called the Jag office to ask them, and they told me that they were only there to help the military member and they refused to help. So, that’s sort of out of the question. I do not have enough money for a lawyer (I’m too busy trying to work to pay rent, two car payments, two insurance payments, food, gas, electric, water, phone…..etc.). Can someone PLEASE help me????
P.S. Please excuse my spelling. I was going to use the spell checker, but it glitched on me…..
Making an excuse to stay? Due to the Soldiers and Sailors act of 1940 as well as the Civil Relief act, I CAN NOT PETION FOR DIVORCE. I’ve already discovered that. Do not patronize me, I don’t appreciate it. Do some research before you point fingers and pass judgment, much less offer advice. As long as an active duty member is overeseas, they can refuse to divorce their spouce. There is nothing the civilian can do about that. It’s law. Learn your facts before you try to tell me that I’m making excuses. And if I let “HIS” car payment go, it effects MY credit, as it’s in MY name. Yes, I’m trying to sell it, haven’t managed to yet. And since I own the car, I have to have insurance on it. Don’t you think I thought of that before I posted the question? I don’t have cable, or a cell phone, or long distance on my home phone. I have no frills. Nothing to cut off to pay the 500$ retainor fee for a lawyer. Or am I making an excuse for that as well? What a way to tick a woman off…
why you waiting for him to divorce?
you have him served
and yes you can file even if he is overseas
he need not be present
just served notice
and as for him cheating
file a complaint with his base commander
he be brought up on charges
since it part of the military code on conduct
they initiate a court marshall and give him a dis honorable discharge
2 car payments”
is one his?
let that one goe…
ditto on the insurance…
there is your attorneys fees
drop cable if need be, drop the phone, get a pre paid cell phone
or have is done via paralegal since you sound like you have a simple case
file in “pro per” as they say
but quit making excuses as to why you are still in the relationship
He won’t get a dishornerable discharge, but he will have to answer the charges.
He is using you and playing you for a fool and an idiot.
He has military bosses! who don’t like it when military families are treated the way he is treating you.
First of all, do you have Power of Attorney? If so, USE IT. If you have that, you can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that you need to do. You might have to make a trip to the base, but this situation totally warrants a two and 1/2 hour drive. Find the PSD and talk to Legal (it’s totally free). If they don’t help you, have them refer you to someone who will. Tell your story to anyone and everyone. Someone WILL help you.
Unfortunately, it is true that you can not get a divorce while your husband is overseas. You will have to wait until he returns to do that. As I said, if you have Power of Attorney you have complete access to any and all of his bank accounts (to pay bills in the meantime) and you are also privy to any of his personal information. I’m sorry to hear your situation. Good luck. God bless.
PS- I agree with the girl below… Get proof! Seriously. They get in trouble for adultery in the military.
**Edit- Go im2ez4u!!
Talk to a lawyer. NOW! They should be able to help you get the divorce you want. Make copies of all the emails and his myspace page for evidence of his infidelity. Being in the army, he can actually get into a lot of trouble since cheating is not considered apart of the good code of conduct. Cutting off his wife whom he refuses to divorce might also be an issue you want to take up with his commanding officer. He is digging himself a big a** hole. Bury his cheating lying a** in it. Good luck!
pack ur bags and get out, file for seperation and good ridence to rubbish, start a new life and be careful who you fall in love with, good luck,
Tell his commanding officer. He or she will definitely address the problem, and your husband won’t ever have seen it coming!
That’s easy!!! There’s four steps to fix it: 1. tell him to fix it and let him know that you’ll be contacting his First Sergeant and Company Commander if he does not fix it. 2. Contact his First Sergeant and Commander and let them know the situation (yes they get email over there) and let them know that you’ll be contacting the IG and JAG if they can’t help. 3. Contact the IG and JAG and let them know the situation and that the First Sergeant nor Commander could help and let them know the names of your Congressional representatives that you will be contacting if they can’t help. 4. Write a letter to your Congressional representatives letting them know the situation (type and print so that you can sign several copies) and mail one every day for a week and at the end of two weeks, start sending them to every local television station. If it goes beyond your husband, he will end up getting in trouble, but his conduct is a disgrace and unbecoming of a Non-Commissioned Officer (which he is).
Call his commanding officer..