My husband and I have been married for over two years and have been together for five. We love each other and have a stable relationship. He has a very good job and we have plenty of money in savings and live comfortably in a very nice town home. We have discussed the possibility of trying for a baby many times. I’m 27 going on 28 and there is a heavy history of Toxemia and Preeclampsia in my family so I would like to start trying as soon as possible. Especially since I have been on the pill for so long. He keeps going back and forth about it. Whenever he sees children he mentions to me how wonderful and “cool” it would be to have one of our own. The only thing he’s worried about is money ( he always worried about money) and the fact that we are not on insurance that covers maternity right now. He also says that he wants to travel before we have kids, which I could care less about. I feel that these are all superficial reason for waiting and try to explain to him how worried I am that we will suffer miscarriages due to my family history and that I would like to try before the age of 29. So long story short, about a month ago I stopped the pill cold turkey without telling him. I know this seems like a terrible thing to do. But he does get excited talking about having kids and we have had a few pregnancy “scares” over the years and whenever that happens he doesn’t seem worried in the slightest bit. In fact he usually just sits with me and waits for the test to finish up its three minutes then jumps up to see it before me when its ready. The last time this happened was about five or six months ago and he actually told me he was a little disappointed. Still though, I feel somewhat guilty about going off of the pill without telling him and I know that if I did tell him he would get mad. So what should I do here? I’m ready for a baby. I feel that he’s ready too, but is feeling skittish to actually go for it and ttc. And he LOVES kids. So am I wrong in taking the reigns? My mother had terrible toxemia which caused her to lose her first child to stillbirth, have a third child that is severely handicapped, and have a fifth child (me) at only 23 1/2 weeks (I weighed in at 1 lb. 13 ounces and nearly died). Her second and fourth were perfectly fine though. I don’t want to go through all of this. I want my babies to be alive and healthy. So I chose to take control of the situation and simply go off of the pill and let whatever happens happen. Is this wrong considering the circumstances?
By admin on January 5, 2012
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