My parents like to brought up the things that I “owe” them.
My dad got angry when I told him off for his bad habit of not paying the bills on time. He said I was ungrateful and calculative. Then he brought up all the things that he spent on me which includes the groceries that he bought for the meal I offer to cook for the family.
His words really make me feel like i am a bad child. Especially after he roped in my mother to tell me off as being rude and disrespectful. Who wouldn’t be when you have to pay 2 months worth of bills because of my dad’s habit of not paying it on time. Worse was that I trust him with my money in settling the bills but yet, I have to fork out more because he didn’t pay it on time!
I pay for the cable and internet bills. I have to give my parents some money every month. And I have to pay for my study loan and insurance. In all, I’m left with a measly money for myself.
I have my own dreams too. And i want to travel. My parents claim that my traveling expenses are the one that made me calculative when helping the family. But it’s my hard earned money and i don’t think it is wrong for me to spend it on myself.
Moving out is not an option cause of our culture. But i cannot stand living in this petty environment where you have your parents nitpicking on what they have invested on you and expect you to pay back every single cent.
Parents are all different. Mine aren’t like that
with that grammar they clearly didnt invest much.
just saying bro.
How old are you? If you’re under 18, yeah that’s not fair, but if you’re over, it is.
id say they would like u to help out if u can when u r older if they need help be the first to offer
In my culture kids move out and live their own lives when they are adults.
Whatever expenses a parent pays when they are growing up is not an investment, it is a gift, and the kid is expected to gift it forward to his own kids someday.
Maybe you can take some of your paycheck and deposit it into an savings account for yourself, before you donate to your family.
I wouldnt stand for it any more I would move out I dont care about my culture. When you work hard for your money you shouldnt have to pay anything but maybe some things but be able to put some aside for things you need to do or get. You need to grow up and get some were else and take care of your things. There is places that go by your income so go for it. What he is doing is verbal abuse so dont stand for it
Be warned – these people are going to expect you to be their servant and at their beck and call for the rest of your life. Yes, you probably should contribute to the cost of been in the household; but you do not have to feel guilty about what your parents did for you. Adult kids and parents have sepereated on this issue never to speak to each other again. It is very petty; and it will only get worse. Ask dear old dad ‘yes you have rights as a parent; but what are the obilgations you live by as an adult parent’.
You sound frustrated. These are diffcult financial times. Your parents might not be able to borrow money to smooth their normal money flow and he is forced to pay bills late. It is not out of lazy behavior It is caused by the reality that the only way for most people to manage the flow of money today is to pay bills late and then pay high fees. Your father probably does not have a choice and to be disrespectful of his ability to manage money will cause him great pain. You must be careful to avoid the trap of thinking “What is mine is mine and what is their’s is mine too” because that is the type of thinkiing that caused so many people to die in war in the 20th century. The world is undergoing a huge change right now and it is affecting everybody and it will continue to be difficult until the debts of governments are reduced.
Mine didn’t.
The way I see it, I think it would be selfish for someone to raise their child that way. It may be that in your culture people don’t move out, but nothing is stopping you. Sure, your culture may place an importance in you staying home… but there is no reason why you should have to pay more just because your father is not paying on time (and NO culture that I know of condones his behavior). You should be able to spend your money however you wish.
I had a roommate who had me paying more because they weren’t paying their own bills on time. So I left. I wasn’t willing to risk my future, and my credit score, over some dipshit who didn’t have money-sense.
And a parent cannot force their child to pay them back every cent invested on them. So what if you don’t pay them back? What are they going to do? Turn it over to collections? People have actually taken their children to court over this. And the parents always lose. Because the judge just reminds them that children are expensive, and they should have known that before having children.
Don’t let culture chain you to your family if they’re causing you issues at home. If you work and make money like you need to you don’t need to hand it over to your parents. You make that money to buy or rent a place of your own. My stepmother came over and my daughter was their because my stepmother was dropping something off for my father at my home. Any way when my daughter answered the door my stepmother said to my daughter; I hear you have a great job making lots of money, now you can make your stepgranny rich. Fat chance my stepmom is going to make money off of my daughter.
Just give them a rent % of what you make, because you have other bills to pay, let them pay the cable with part of the rent money. Just sit them down and say I make X number of $dollars$ and that you will get this percentage and that they can pay the bill for food and cable from it. I’m sure you have brothers and sisters that work too that can share in the cost of running the home. Don’t let them feed off of you like parasites they are acting like.
Besides doesn’t your father work too? what does he do with the money he makes? does he hoard it all for himself take fancy holidays with his wife? Don’t let them use you like this. Despite culture if it’s harmful I would make my exit and not look back
I had a job when i turned 16 aswell as school and paid some money towards my food and only a little to power and internet which i used lots of. Once i turned 19 i moved out as payng such a small amount didnt teach me anything about what it really is like out there. im now 24 with a planned child, engaged for 3 years as i put work first rather then all datign boys and ive a business from home which involves doing pictures and illustration for websites (good ones) and sewing and my partner is a chef. If you dont pay your share then your just not going to learn anything.